Thanks O!

I have been watching Oprah and her Best Life week courtesy of my mother. When she mentioned that Oprah was going to do this I thought I'd give it a try and MAKE myself stay tuned for the whole hour. Oprah sometimes bugs so it was hard at first.

I missed the most part of the Spiritual segment and I was pizzed. I always thought to myself "Is this it? Is this all there is?" When she mentioned that on her show I knew I wasn't the only one! I do believe God has this plan for me and I was meant to be a mother and not only a mother but one to children with special needs and special attention.

But I sometimes felt lost. I forgot who Marisa was. Sound weird? Well I've been home with my kids for about 7 years. That's a long ol time. No wonder my hair is falling out! But when I was working in the medical field I felt important, I felt like I was blending in with society and contributing financially to my family. I loved the lunch breaks, the gossip, the patients, etc. I miss that sometimes.

BUT on the other hand, I feel blessed to be able to raise my children while I am home. I have nothing against daycare or babysitters but I think my kids were meant to be home with me and I was supposed to teach them. If I had the patience I would LOVE to homeschool! But nah, school system can do it. I just supplement my teachings at home with therapy, etc. This IS my job. Troy said I never had to go back to work if I didn't want to, for financial reasons but I wonder if I should for ME. By the time Mila is in school Eric could be havin kids! He better not though! As I learned in WW...2009 is MINE!

Anyways..this whole rant is because I'm learning my place on this Earth. My purpose. Who I really am and what I really want out of all of this.

Brings me to the next part...I HATE labels. I hate labeling my kids. I know there are people out there that think I want to label my kids for some sick reason and I don't. I never asked for this for our children. The daily struggles, the fears, the anxieties, the stress of being a child for cryin' out loud! It's hard work for them, especially Damian and Max.

I was in therapy for Max today and I heard a woman ask another woman if her kid was autistic. She never answered and I'm not sure why. I knew he was and I knew how she felt. Sensory processing disorder does not make Damian or Max who they are. That''s not all they are, all they are capable of. I am not ashamed at all with the disorders my kids have, I got over that real damn quick. I gave myself a few minutes each day to feel sorry for them and I don't anymore. They are blessed to be able to walk, talk, see, hear, eat, feel loved and cared for. They just have a disorder that is making their nervous systems not get enough input or too much in Damian's case. I choose to tell people or not about our kids. Because it's not all there is to them.

If Damian is diagnosed with autism or Asperger's I will not tell people my son is autistic. I will correct people if they ask if he is. His name is Damian and he is a sweet, loving and smart boy. He HAS autism, he's not autistic. It does not make up who he is. He is my little boy.