the end of the road

This is why I can't leave my kids and update all of you everyday....and the 80's ponytail is because I cannot tame that hair in the morning.

BUT..when this happens around here then I can! I walked into the living room and all I saw was this foot sticking up on the couch. He rarely falls asleep out here.

I'll update on Damian with the short version. I called this post the end of the road because it feels like that to us. I've cried, cursed, fought, yelled, felt sorry for him, blah blah blah. What every normal parent would do I think if they were in my position. I advocated for along time and finally got someone to listen and diagnos him.

We have his IEP meeting on the 11th and after psych testing with the most kind and helpful woman out of all of them, they have come to a diagnosis of PDD which stands for pervasive developmental disorder. This is on the autism spectrum and is considered high functioning. Not Asperger's like we thought because those kids do not normally have speech delays as severe as Damian's. They look for 3 key things in autism and you must have all 3 to have a diagnosis.

Speech delays, deficit in social skills and repetitive behaviors. He has all 3 but I don't think his repetitive behaviors are that bad. He loves memorizing things like his lunch menus or rewinding DVD's for hours.

We'll talk about placement on Wednesday. I'm not 100% convinced he needs to be in a CH class and I'm scared to pull him out of regular ed. for even part of the day. I think we'll hold off until we put him in the school next door.

So I finally heard what I needed to hear which didn't come to a shock which was good for us. But still hearing it is hard. I had a hard time and I still have my moments. We know it's lifelong but we also know there will come a point in his life that he has adapted to it and it won't be as hard or noticeable I think.

Max will be speech and academic tested on Thursday so I have a stressful week ahead of me. I honestly think they'll say his speech is fine but we do need to work on his sensory issues. Sensoy processing disorder can come across as autism because most children with autism have sensory issues like Damian. BUT I've learned you can have sensory without autism. Such a broad spectrum I don't know how they do it sometimes.

So I guess that was the long version! I'm so passionate about it and I feel God gave me these special children for a reason. I hardly think I'm cut out for it at times but I prove myself wrong and find out something new about myself because of my children. Eric had his tough start on life and then Damian. I used to look up into the heavens and scream "Why me and my children????"

He made them special in their own ways and they have all made me stronger and showed me that along this journey. I told Troy if I could take autism away from Damian I couldn't. That's who he is and he wouldn't be Damian without his own individual personality.

On another note...never leave me with ribbon scraps and a little girl. Here's my poor excuse for pigtails. Someone come teach me!!